https://www.chapter52.net/blog daily 0.75 2023-11-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/ae1e3eef-5d24-462e-b6db-7cf5b6383ae5/ellen+as+miss+manatee.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/e59a3807-a6a4-4e65-ba80-48fe8057c2dc/IMG_2561.PNG https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/4b77dc45-0a5b-4c71-a25d-f586b7acd776/IMG_1065.JPG https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/988c7c3e-a3da-4f5d-9de3-6c687ee7bb5a/DSCN0778.JPG https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/6c6ee377-1c37-4f7c-8c1a-75eea621ea48/IMG_2595.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/a781214b-9210-40ba-be17-8a4a6d0ff986/K+Pic.JPEG https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1615756950587-52I23XM822DNBU6XBG4I/Screen+Shot+2021-03-14+at+5.18.23+PM.png Blog Judith (Judy) Joachim https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1614553925336-5Q41S1DQ687D0ZZFYTUP/15622279_10209727947172818_6114528054803181532_n.jpg Blog - Aleida Acosta, Storyteller When I started my blog a few months ago my dad sent me a two-page story my grandmother, Aleida Acosta, wrote back in 1985. My grandmother was a great storyteller. My great grandmother, her mother, we affectionally called Mama Ketcha but her first name was Lucrecia. My memories of her were of a loving woman who only spoke Spanish. She would look at us great grandchildren and say Ay Calindo/Calinda which means “How Beautiful”. She was always so sweet and loving even though there was a language barrier. I really wish I could’ve captured my grandmother’s stories about her life before she died but I am grateful for this small piece. Enjoy! September 8th, 1985 “Today I have to write about my mother’s life. As I recall, my mother telling me about her life as a little girl. It sure has been a long time. As I can remember, her grandfather and grandmother came from Spain. It seems her grandfather worked on the ships. He was the one to go to when it arrived before anyone else would be permitted. They made their life in Havana. They already had children. I believe they were four daughters and two sons. My grandmother was Margerta Fernandez. She married a Spanish gentleman named Ramon Rodriguez, but she was not too lucky. He passed away at 33 years old, so she was left alone with 3 children, my aunt, my mother and my uncle. At that time, things were very bad for a widow with 3 children so her sister which was very rich, but very stingy sent her to Tampa, Florida in 1904. My grandmother was 28 years old and my mother was 6 years old, so she was raised here in the USA. As she grew older, she had to go to work at an early age so she and her older sister could help her mother. At that time, they would only make about $6.00 a week. So, you can imagine, no time for school. Then as the years went by, they wanted a lamp so they could see the way. Whenever they would go out at night the streets were of wood. There were snakes and alligators, so they had to be very careful. Life was very bad, but they were so happy with what they had. Life was so different of now – Tampa. The only industry they had was the cigar factory. It was the only means for the Spanish speaking people to make a living. They were the ones who had the hard times, but very proud to be here in America. They call from a very early age my mother was 6 years old. My father later at age 29 they met and got married on August 31st, 1913. I was born 9 months later in 1914. My brother was born 19th. As my mother said to me…..Maas Brothers was a wood store all of Franklin Street was of wood. Ahh that time there were other transportation of a horse and buggy.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1613147792298-7XQ7BEVN9OM6RVK577L3/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-02-12%2Bat%2B11.31.15%2BAM.jpg Blog Daughtrey Pride Dance Team AAU Sport Dance Gold Medal Champions https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1613147824353-TQEHTUB1MGSZRMGACPPX/Screen+Shot+2021-02-12+at+11.31.46+AM.png Blog Visualizing and Praying before competition. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1609716530481-12P3EOVKZ301FZIAJ839/Screen+Shot+2021-01-03+at+6.27.46+PM.png Blog https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1607967626222-MF5851WGO4IU85F7KN89/thumbnail_Dr.+Shirin+Gibson.jpg Blog - Bella! With the holiday season upon us, it has been a little busy and a little hard to focus on writing my blog. Fitting it in has been a challenge. But here I am today and I am moved to write. I am moved to write because I have so much in my head and on my heart. This past Saturday I found out a dear friend and colleague passed away unexpectantly. She was a few years younger than I but she and I basically grew up in our careers together in the school district where we work. Writing about her in the past tense is difficult today. She was always bubbly and often times would endearingly call me Bella. I loved when she did that. She was always very professional and was very conscientious about doing the right thing always. She was super smart and even spoke multiple languages. During the COVID crisis she led our entire district into an eLearning model in a matter of a week. She and I have laughed together and vented about our jobs together. This past summer she had a medical issue arise around the time I was being treated for my breast cancer. She and I texted back and forth and discussed our health and the stressful jobs we have. Both realizing that life is short and it is best to take care of ourselves first. She was the kind of person that while we were on a Teams meeting, she took a screenshot of my professional photo that popped and texted me “what a fabulous picture”. Her name is Shirin (Desai) Gibson. When I first met her, we both worked at Daughtrey Elementary School. Daughtrey Elementary School has molded many of my friends and colleagues to become leaders in the district. We used to say if you can make it at Daughtrey you can make it anywhere. The school has place in my heart. Its where it all started for me in so many ways. I was teaching when she was hired as a teacher aide. Same way I got my start at the same school. I knew when she and I worked together that she was something special. I knew that she was going to make a huge impact on students, teachers and our district someday. She did just that. Many of us are heartbroken and in a state of shock. I will be starting a scholarship in her honor to help pay for a current teacher aide working in our district to be able to obtain their bachelor’s degree to become a teacher just like she did. I’ve never done anything like this before and I know it will be challenging, but I believe in it enough to make this happen. During this crazy 2020 year everyone, hold tight to your loved ones! Never miss a moment to tell people you truly love them. Be there for them and honor them now in life. Bella, you will be missed my beautiful friend! R.I.P. Dr. Shirin Gibson https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1606577337964-36J6NL7WWFYVL6PT179H/Letters.jpg Blog Express Your Gratitude in Writing “Silent gratitude isn’t much good to anyone.” – Gladys Stern In John Maxwell’s book, Every Communicates, Few Connect he talks about gratitude as a way to inspire and connect with people. He says that of all of the virtues, gratitude is probably the most neglected and least expressed. He tells a story about how he suffered a heart attack and how two doctors saved his life. At the 10-year anniversary of his heart attack, he wrote them both letters of gratitude and described what he had been able to experience and accomplish in the 10 years since they saved his life. How often do we sincerely thank our doctor’s and the people who have entered our lives during times of trouble? I think about my own health issues this year and how the doctor’s I have come across have given me a lease on life. Sometimes we can never repay people for what they have done for us but expressing our gratitude into written word is something that can be cherished and remembered forever. Recently I read on Facebook where a young college student was not able to spend Thanksgiving with her family, so she sent an email requesting a recipe for her favorite holiday dish from her aunt and uncle. She wanted to cook it for her roommates with whom she would spending Thanksgiving. When they sent it back to her, she wrote back to them her overwhelming feelings of gratitude for them being part of their life. They were so touched by her words of gratitude that they posted it on Facebook for all to read. In my work life I have worked hard to show my gratitude for the people I work with. In one full desk drawer at work, I have it filled with blank cards. Some with my name on them, some blank and some that simply say thank you. I started doing this when I worked for a principal who carried blank cards around in his planner to write notes of gratitude. As an assistant principal I had started little gratitude projects like “Drop in the Bucket” where the entire staff had little beach buckets in their work space and one could “drop” the person a note of gratitude in their bucket. The notes were even shaped like drops of water. It helped build morale amongst the staff members and build a culture of gratitude. Once I became a principal, I started giving out giraffe lapel pins as a symbol of my gratitude to others who had gone above and beyond. I would accompany each lapel pin with a note of gratitude. I then turned it into where staff could write the notes and deliver the pins themselves to their colleagues. As I would visit classrooms it would surprise me to find these notes displayed in people’s workspaces. It warmed my heart to think that they really cherished those words of gratitude. I have kept letters and notes from people who have written their words of gratitude to me over the years. The best ones come from students. Kids that would write to me how much they appreciated my creativity and fun in the classroom. My hope is that since they wrote it they will remember those moments in my classroom forever. When we get so busy with life and time passes by too quickly, we forget who we are or who we were. Revisiting those words of gratitude help to remember. Once I left the school building to become a director in our downtown offices for the school district, I applied the same concept to my staff members and realized they too honored and cherished my notes of gratitude. I have always felt that it was much more impactful to leave handwritten notes of gratitude to people I care about to let them know how much I really care. I can say the words but those can be forgotten, writing the words allow a person to keep it forever and revisit the words when they need it. During the pandemic lock down I wasn’t able to see my staff except for Teams Meetings online. I missed being close to them physically, so I sent each one a letter to their home address with words of gratitude, encouragement and feelings of how much I missed them. While writing this I realized that although I have worked hard to do this for the people I work with I haven’t been good at doing this for my friends and family. During this season of Thanksgiving and gift giving, I am going to challenge myself to write letters or notes to give as gifts of gratitude. I challenge you to write a note or letter of thanksgiving and gratefulness to someone you value in your life. Choose one person in your family and one in your work life. It doesn’t have to be long. It can be 3 to 5 sentences. I prefer to handwrite the note and mail it. Who doesn’t love a letter in the mail? An email may get lost with all of the junk mail but a true handwritten letter says that you took the time to craft the words and place it in the mailbox. especially for them. The paper doesn’t have to be fancy or formal. My grandmother would send me letters in the mail all the time. Most of the time it was scratch pieces of paper she found at work. But the words on those pieces of paper were full of love and encouragement. If gratitude is hard to write for you, just writing words that you are thinking of them and love them is enough to warm someone’s heart. If there is anything 2020 has taught us it to be grateful for those people in our lives who have made a difference or make a difference day in and day out. “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1605358816813-A4BQIA9FEIM4P0Q04PAL/Screen+Shot+2020-11-14+at+7.45.22+AM.png Blog - Music for the Heart and Soul I heard one sine from above I heard one sine from above Then the signal split in two The sound created stars like me and you Before there was love, there was silence I heard one sine And it healed my heart, heard a sine - Lady Gaga and Elton John My entire life songs have entered my life and punctuated poignant moments. I can hear certain songs and it can immediately draw memories for me. Songs have led me and shaped me through tough times and healed my heart. Through the years the ways I have heard these songs has evolved tremendously. New advancements have made access and immediacy to obtaining your favorite music just a quick click of a button. It is pretty amazing to see how far we’ve come with our own personal listening habits. As far back as I can remember I have loved music and songs. I’ve loved dancing and singing to music. Playing it loud and sometimes over and over. I am of the generation that bought records and albums at the music store in the mall and you had to exercise lots of patience to hear your favorite song on the radio or be able to add the song as part of your collection. Sometimes my mom would buy a 45 record for me if she knew I liked a particular song. Once she bought me the 45 of “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band. I loved that song as a kid and today when I listen to it, I still can sing every single word. I laugh now, because when I was a kid, I really had no idea the meaning of that song, but I completely get it now. I used to save my own money from chores to my buy own records. I remember buying Michael Jackson’s “I Wanna Rock with You” because I saw him on TV performing it. I couldn’t wait to get it home to listen and dance to. Both of those songs remind me of a time in my life that was innocent and fun. I would bring these songs home to play it on my hand me down record player that could be folded up like suitcase that used to belong to my mom when she was younger. A record was called a 45 because of the speed the record was played on the record player. When you played 45 records you had to have these plastic inserts so it would fit on the record player. Sometimes you had to place a nickel on the arm of the record player so it wouldn’t skip due to scratches on the vinyl. You had to treat your vinyl records very carefully. I had a small collection full length albums or LPs (long playing). I loved being able to save my money to buy an album. I would bring it home and unwrap the album from its cellophane. I would put the record on my record player and play the album from cover to cover. They called the side of the album with all of the radio hits the A side and the B side had the less popular songs or songs that were more obscure. I would often lay down in front of my stereo for hours and look at the record sleeve and read the lyrics as the song played. I would sing and dance along. I memorized songs from reading the lyrics as I listened. That’s how I knew what song came next. I didn’t get up and move the needle I just let it play. It’s funny now I hear songs and fully expect the next song on the album to come on. My all time favorite LP was Journey’s “Escape”. This album marked my entry into my teen years. I can see the faces of my friends and the moments we shared as we were in love with the songs. That record got so much play over and over. My brother was a KISS fan so for many years I would hear the “Love Gun” album over and over again coming from his room! My parents had a few albums they passed on to me or that I would listen to that bring back a lot of memories: The Mamas and the Pappas self-titled album from 1966, Elvis Presley’s album where is wore a gold suit on the cover, Billy Joel ‘s “52nd Street and The Beatles’ “Revolver” album. Songs from those albums strike up many memories from my childhood. One Christmas my music listening evolved to a little Panasonic tape recorder (see pic). That thing went everywhere my roller skates did. I made up many dance and skate routines to that tape recorder. Having a cassette tape recorder brought a whole new world of music listening. I would often listen to American’s Top 40 on the radio and then wait for my favorite song to come on so I could tape it. I would place the cassette recorder next to the radio and record songs. Back then we called those “mixed tapes” because you would be able to make a tape of songs you liked from different artists. Recording songs from the radio was a challenge though. I had to watch for my brother barging into the room or hated it when the DJ talked over the beginning and ending of a song. My music was portable and got me out of the house. I still played my albums from time to time from beginning to end while lying in front of my record player but soon my music listening evolved once again. I got a Walkman. My music became not only portable but private. Having music that was private allowed me to blare it as loud as I wanted and play songs over and over without anyone complaining. The next phase of my evolving music listening was when I started to drive. Now my music was in the car, both portable and private. My first car a Volkswagen bug had a radio and cassette player in it. Soon my car was filled with cassette and mixed tapes. The first time I had full freedom to drive where I wanted the song that came on the radio was “Everyone Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears. Every time I hear that song, I remember that feeling of that day of complete freedom and independence. My friends and I played Madonna’s first album over and over and sang at the top of our lungs in that little VW bug. Those memories remind me of a time of newfound independence as I began my turn into a more adult life. I evolved with music listening devices and had gotten a new stereo on my birthday that allowed me to record from an album directly to a cassette and record cassette to cassette. Buying music at the store became inconvenient and sometimes if it was a hot album the store would sell out and you had to wait. I remember in high school on my 16th birthday buying Prince’s Purple Rain album at the grocery store. Yes, even grocery stores sold records at one time. Back then LPs usually came out first then the cassette. So, if you bought the album you would record it on a blank cassette tape. Patience was still needed. Then came along the Columbia Music Club. This was right around the time when CD’s (compact disc) were popular. You could open an account and select 10 CDs and only pay for one, but once a month they would send you a random CD that you may or may not have liked. It did kind of force you to listen to albums you may not have normally been attracted to before. Belonging to the Columbia House Music Club exponentially added to your collection of music without having to go to the record store but you still had to wait once a month The evolution to digital music –Apple’s iTunes significantly changed the music listening world. iTunes completely removed the patience you needed to hear and enjoy music. When it first came out you could download music onto your computer and then put it on your iPod. You can create a playlist like a mixed tape with different music for your moods. Some of my playlists are based on a mood or feeling like beach music, Friday night music or simply just Christmas music. You didn’t have to buy the whole album if you didn’t’ want to. Now iPods are pretty much extinct and all of your music is on your smartphone. Even better, I can plug in my phone in the car and have my full music collection at my fingertips and even better I can download a song using cell service and get my music instantaneously. I have to say I had been missing those days of sitting in front of my record player getting to know an album and an artist. Recently I have been just purchasing full albums online and fully engaging in the whole album. I don’t have a stereo to sit in front of anymore and my music is mostly enjoyed in my daily commute to work but I have come full circle with my listening and have come back to enjoying a full album beginning to end. I love when an album tells a story. The difference is I can download a whole new album in a matter of minutes. I can see the lyrics on my phone and even further I can now google ‘the album and artist and read about the story of the album. My latest album is Lady GaGa’s , “Chromatica.” I’ve listened to it so much I can’t get the music out of my head. I love how she has added these huge orchestra pieces in 3 different interludes placed at the beginning middle and end of the album. It tells a story even if it is all dance music. I have also revisited albums or artists by purchasing “Best Ofs”. My music appreciation is far and wide. I still get excited to hear “Rodeo” from Oklahoma and “Work It” by Missy Elliott. From Flo Rida’s “Get Low” to Manheim Steamroller’s “Silent Night”. Music and songs have played a huge part of my life and been there to heal my soul. Sometimes I revisit those songs again when I need them, and they help me transition or just clarify what’s important in life. Two songs come to mind, “This Road” by Ginny Owens and “Sometimes in Snows in April” by Prince. “This Road” is about someone asking God why have you chosen this road for me and putting your faith in God. “Sometimes it Snows in April” is about how life just turns upside down like snowing in April. I found myself lost in that song on a long walk after I found out I had cancer. Music has evolved for me in so many ways and it just keeps getting better. Maybe it’s because I appreciate where it was to where it is now, I don’t know. But in these crazy times, in our world, escaping to music is great therapy and brings much joy. Now back to listening and feeding my soul! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1603635029814-43DVEW48PE4HPBLSNXKV/IMG_6409.jpg Blog - 9 Gifts from God! “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”. – Galatians 22-23 One would never think that in the face of illness, the unknown, or adversity, God would bear his fruit on you. With so much going on in my life during my breast cancer fight and so much going on in the world, God did just that for me and for that I am forever grateful. Treatment for cancer varies from person to person depending on the severity of it. From my story last week, I shared how I found the lump in my breast. From the time of my last mammogram to the time I found the lump was just shy of two months. The tumor had grown fast, but I caught it early. I was able to seek treatment early before the tumor took over. As they say, a stitch in time says 9. I believe the early catch had a huge impact on my treatment plan. I think the hardest time of waiting during all of this was finding out the grade of my cancer. The grade would determine my path for treatment. My biggest fear with my breast cancer was having to endure chemotherapy. I had seen the havoc chemo has on the body from people I knew who have had to endure it. I just kept thinking to myself, I don’t have time for this. I am too busy and have too much going on to be slowed down by chemo. God gave me the gift of faithfulness during this time. Often waiting for an answer to a big event in your life requires lots of patience. With patience comes the faithfulness that you need to believe that no matter the outcome, you will endure. Once the tumor was removed the oncologist sent it for gene testing. In my mind it was quite simple, chemo or not. That’s all I needed to know. Chemo may eradicate cancer, but it wreaks havoc on the body. I’m a wuss and I knew if I was to have chemo, I wouldn’t do well. When they test the tumor, they are looking for the genetic make up to determine a grade on whether or not the cancer would return or spread in other areas of your body. The grade ranks from 1 to 50, with 1 through 25 meaning no chemo and 26 to 50 needing chemo. Chemotherapy treats the whole body for cancer, radiation treats only the area where the cancer appears. The day of my Teledoc appointment I raced home to receive the news in private with my husband, Randy. When the phone rang, we were ready for whatever news the oncologist had to deliver. Faithfulness. I had turned it over to God. I knew that I would deal with whatever I needed to fight this. I placed the doctor on speaker phone and when he shared the news that my cancer was a rating of a 9, No chemo, the amount of relief was overwhelming. I knew I still had to undergo radiation, but chemo was not needed. When I hung up the phone both of us were overwhelmed with peace and joy. We were on cloud 9. The number 9 took on a whole new significance for us. Not only does it represent the 9 gifts from God, but it also had real world meaning for us. First of all, number 9 is Randy’s favorite number. It was his soccer jersey number in college. We both were born in September the 9th month of the year. He played an R9 driver in golf for a long time. Our favorite red wine is called 9 Lives and now 9 meant I would not have to battle all the side effects of chemo. We rejoiced in God’s love , goodness and the significance of the number 9. Radiation was to be set for thirty consecutive days except for weekends. I was more worried about the inconvenience than anything. Little did I know that half-way through radiation the wind in my sails would fly away. I became so fatigued there were days I didn’t know how in the world I would be able to keep going. When the worst fatigue hit is when I played golf on a Sunday with my husband and friend. I barely made it through 9 holes. That evening I could not function. It’s a fatigue that you can’t really explain. Rest doesn’t help. Eating doesn’t help. All I could do is push through. My skin on my breast began to burn and turn dark and visiting the machine each day was exhausting. The nurses and techs were amazing though. They engaged me each day with a topic other than treatment or cancer. It took my mind off of the process. They showed me kindness and gentleness each and every day. Each day I would attend my treatment I would lie under the machine and wait for the seven to 9 passes of the laser over me. Most days I would just close my eyes and fall asleep. I was so tired it was a relief to just stop time and breath. When the nurses would come in to tell me I was all done, it was all I could do to get up, get dressed and drive home. It was a time in my life I won’t forget. I counted down the days. Two days before I was to complete my treatments, the machine broke down. I was heartbroken. I was so close to being done and now I had to wait another day. So close but yet it felt so far. July 29th was my last day of treatment. I ready to get my energy back. I wanted to not have to have my standing 3:30 appointment every day. The amount of self-control to stay committed to this daily treatment was on some days a challenge. Going from being busy at work, then driving to the treatment to being perfectly still under the machine took even greater self-control. Now I am on the way to recovery. Radiation is complete, the whole 9 yards of it. I have my energy back and I am now working on getting myself healthy. I slowly felt my energy return and my skin healed. I have begun breast cancer fighting medication (Tamoxifen) which is basically hormone blockers. I will have to take the medication for the next five years and with it comes its own set of side effects but I am so grateful that the hardest part is over. There are times I worry that the cancer will come back or show up in my other breast. Right now, I am focusing on my health in all areas. From emotional health to mental health to physical health. I have to guard myself against stress since that IS a contributing factor to cancer. Dealing with stress takes forbearance by not letting life overwhelm me. The mind can play tricks on you sometimes. When things start to build up, for me it is usually at work, I have to learn to take a deep breath and restrain from letting that wave of overwhelmingness wash over me. The number 9 is now my favorite number as it represents so much to me. The number 9 has shown up many times lately and whenever I hear it or see it, I smile to myself. I will never forget the 9 gifts from God of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I will continue to use those gifts to add value to others each and every day! I AM 99.9% back!! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f68f2b01790a141c79083f2/1602427937810-9POBIO0MRC3YZ6ODKOCQ/WW+Tatoo.jpg Blog - PINK IS a Strong Color! This week I heard someone refer to the color pink as “not a very strong color”. It came from a man but I have also heard women say, “I don’t wear pink, its too girlie for me”. Wait, what? Call it what you want but to me pink symbolizes strength and resilience now more than ever before! This is now very personal for me. I have always loved the color pink but as you may know pink is also the color for Breast Cancer Awareness. This year during Breast Cancer Awareness month I share my story in hopes of encouraging any woman who reads this to take care of themselves. An early catch is key! On March 18th, 2020, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Wow, still seems weird to see it and say it. Denial is still a thing. No, not me, this happens to other women, but not me. Even after surgery and treatment, it still feels surreal. First and foremost, do not rely on a mammogram alone. Yes, get your mammogram every year, but don’t ignore doing a breast self-exam. I can’t express enough how important it is to do a self-breast exam at least once a month. The mere fact that I myself found my lump in my breast is a testimony in itself. Feel your boobs!! You don’t even have to follow the textbook breast exam, just feel them. I had my annual mammogram on December 24th, 2019, and to be honest, I had had them every year since I turned 40, 11 of them to be exact. Trust me, it never ranked it real high on my to do list. I mean after all, the mammogram is NOT the most pleasant experience to say the least. Sometime in February, 2 months later after the mammogram and after I was told all was normal, I was getting in the shower and that’s when a felt it. There was a hard knot in the lower part of my right breast. At first I thought hmmmm that’s weird. I would describe its size between a pea and a marble. I made a mental note of it because I have had small watery filled cysts in my breasts before that are typically considered normal in dense breast tissue. So I checked it the next day, still there. A week later, still there. Two weeks go by, still there. It didn’t move and it was hard. It didn’t feel like the small watery cysts I had had before. I started to get worried. I finally told my husband about it after two weeks of feeling this in my breast everyday. He immediately told me that I needed to go to the doctor. I figured, why not it’s probably nothing. I mean at the time I was 51, it could just be that my body is changing. So I went. When the doctor was examining me, I watched his face intently. I was looking for any sign from him that this was nothing. I wanted to be able to see what he was thinking. Well I could tell the doctor felt it too and he immediately ordered another mammogram and an ultrasound. I have had an ultrasound on my breast before but again it turned out to be a watery cyst that went away. At this point I am still thinking, all this for nothing, watch you’ll see. During the ultrasound I lay there and watched the monitor and there it was, a dark spot. The radiologist pressed hard on it and for the first time it actually hurt. The next day I got a call from the doctor. He told me to come into the office after 10:00 and don’t worry about an appointment. That right there had me scared. I mean what doctor doesn’t care about an appointment? Typically you have to make appointments months in advance. My heart sank. The doctor informed me I needed a biopsy. He knew something was not right and reality was setting in for me but I’m an optimist. Hey, this could still be nothing. Now this was all happening around the time that the world was beginning to realize that this Coronavirus from China was beginning to infiltrate the U.S. We had had a Spring Break trip planned to St. Maarten and we weren’t sure if we were going to be able to go. I scheduled my biopsy the day before we were to leave for St. Maarten. Not a really great idea but I wanted to have it done as soon as possible and not prolong knowing the results. I mean after all 2 months earlier this lump was not there and had not been detected in my mammogram. Whatever it was, it had grown pretty quickly. During the biopsy of course I was numb but to watch the doctor struggle to insert this huge needle into my dense breast tissue was very unsettling. She had to push really hard. Once she got the biopsy needle in I could see everything on the ultrasound screen. I finally had to just turn away. It was too much for me to see this procedure happening and not feel it. Afterwards I sat in my car and cried. I think deep down I knew this was not going to be good news. We were able to go to St. Maarten anyway and luckily we met a doctor and his wife who became our friends. Both offered knowledge, understanding and support at a time of so much uncertainty for us. We ended up having to cut our vacation short as the Coronavirus began to wreck havoc on the world. Two days later after returning home is when the doctor called to tell me I had cancer. We would have been in St. Maarten when I got the news, but I was home which in hindsight was probably best. I would have hated to have been on vacation and learn that I had breast cancer. Home is where I needed to be. We were in shock. I was in shock. Me, Wendy, breast cancer? This isn’t “nothing” this time. My fight was to begin on April 9th, 2020. A lumpectomy. Surgery day was so surreal. My husband was not allowed to accompany me during pre-op and post-op due to the Coronavirus. He basically dropped me off at the front door like he was dropping off a child at school. Scariest time in my life and I had to go it alone. Thank goodness for technology as the nurses allowed me to text while I waited for surgery. Many messages of support and prayers got me through. My treatment plan would be discussed after my surgery and it was still unknown if I would need radiation and chemotherapy. First was to get the damn thing out of me. The tumor would require testing to determine the treatment plan. One-step-at-a-time. The world was falling a part and my world was falling a part. You never have all of the answers up front. Life never works that way. I had to take each piece of news and each test result as it came. I had to trust God that he would allow the doctors to treat me the right way. Putting my life in God’s hands was the only thing I could do. This was beyond my control. It was in God’s control. Here we are in October almost 8 months since my diagnosis. The fight is not over yet. I had a lumpectomy and 30 straight days of radiation treatment. My cancer was Stage 1 so chemotherapy was not needed, thank the Lord. Now I have to take hormone blockers for the next 5 years of my life. I may feel great, look great but with 5 years of breast cancer fighting medication, each mammogram and self-breast exam take on a whole new meaning for me. PINK, has a whole new meaning to me. There are various shades of pink I have found as I have tried to match the pinks in my wardrobe this Breast Cancer Awareness season. I see that each shade of pink represents the many different women who have gone through a breast cancer fight. During my fight, so many friends and women I know came forward to tell me about their journey through breast cancer. Each had a different story but each of us is now bonded together by our fight. I had always supported breast cancer awareness month because of friends and people I knew who had had it but this year there is a whole new significance for me. I also did a thing this month. I got a tattoo to signify my fight and my triumph. I have always said I wanted a Wonder Woman symbol tattoo but never got it because I couldn’t figure out where I wanted it and at the time it was just a commercialized symbol with no real connection to me. It was just kind of cool. Well prior to surgery I told my husband I am getting that Wonder Woman tattoo you know. Of course he reminded me, one step at a time. It’s meaning to me now is strength and resilience. I did some research and little did I know there were Wonder Woman symbols out there with the pink breast cancer awareness ribbon embedded. I was sold. Once I was healed enough, I did it. (See picture) It is a symbol of a strength and resilience I didn’t know I had in me. A constant reminder. I just want to say, if you haven’t had your mammogram in over a year, schedule it NOW! If you have, plan on doing a self-breast exam at least once a month. Heck, do it every time you get in the shower for that matter. Know your body. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are beginning down the path of extra tests, ultrasounds, biopsy etc. Know that you have to take each step as it comes. The fight is a process. Answers won’t all happen at once. Trust God. Celebrate the small victories and charge ahead for the battles and darn it, wear PINK! This blog is dedicated to all the women I know who shared their story with me, especially to my friend Ann. 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